You’re the only one who really knew me at all…



Day 6.   So today I’m thankful for my Mom.  She’s exactly where I get it from.

I never felt stupid as a child.  I always felt like she thought I was smart.  Sometimes that worked to my advantage and I was encouraged to take harder classes and read harder books and please, do your poetry project on TS Eliot.  Because you know, his work was easy.  Sometimes that meant that mediocrity wasn’t good enough.  Often, that was the case.  Mediocrity wasn’t okay.  B’s were only okay if I really had to study for the B because the problem was sometimes I didn’t have to study for the A.  She was a Tiger Mother before anyone wrote a book about Tiger Mothers and before it was cool.  Her theory was that if she did things for me like my homework or pay too many of my bills that I would get the impression that she didn’t think I could do it on my own and that I would feel bad for myself.  I keep assuring her that her buying me a new pair of boots won’t make me feel like I’m unable to buy my own or that I have less self worth but she never listens.  It’s actually a big part of the reason I’m so independent.

She instilled in me, and all of my high school friends can attest to this, that dead is forever and ever and always.  This is something that I have learned is more true than I would have ever thought in high school.  It used to drive me crazy.  Every time we’d leave the house she’d tell me and my friends “Don’t do anything stupid.  Dead is forever and ever and always.”  We all laughed and said we wouldn’t and it was funny because we were 17 and invincible.  Now, I know it to be a sad and very true fact.  It was a clue early on in life that life is short and precious and fleeting.  I didn’t get it AT. ALL. back then.  But doing what I do now…I get it.  And I’m glad that it was pushed as a teenager.  It probably ended up making a difference.

The best part is that she made it okay to be interesting and independent.  She had friends besides Daddy.  She had interests outside of David and me.  She had things to do outside of the house.  She was successful at work.  AND I was still well taken care of, well loved and she was always at all my concerts and musicals and soccer games (for like, one season when I was 5 mostly so people would take my picture).  For me being a super awesome grown up lady with a life and friends and stuff to do and places to go and people to see was totally normal.


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